We’re told vacations are more about making lasting memories than sipping mojitos. So I can’t think a better way to trudge through the dog days of summer than by revisiting when Kate Upton decided to read a book at the beach.

Kate on vacation harkens to simpler days, like when Justin Verlander was still the second-best pitcher on his own team. Now, Verlander is best fit to hand stuff over to his girlfriend, which is honestly a better honor than any Cy Young award.

Splash News

Vacations are an important time to recharge one’s batteries. Kate deserved this beach sojourn after a busy first half of 2014.

Splash News

Even after a day in the sun, unfortunately Kate came away with pesky tan lines. Bummer.

Splash News

To think Verlander was once a star pitcher. Now he’s a sun tan lotion applier.

Splash News

Every relationship has the end of its honeymoon phase.

Splash News

Fret not, the couple patched things up soon after.

It reaffirms your faith in humanity that people are investing their money in the ALS Association rather than the box office or iTunes. Or maybe people are just hot and want to cool down.

Among the challenge’s countless pratfalls, reigning swim smoke Kate Upton’s challenge is notable in its own right. The queen stays the queen.

However, her impromptu challenge with Terry Richardson back in 2012 was a better.

Much, much better. (NSFW, obviously.)

Kate Upton’s highly anticipated #icebucketchallenge was everything we could have asked for. However, it pains me as the resident Kate Uptonologist that her contribution to ALS research had a significant shortcoming.

This guy’s shorts.

It’s not often, if ever, when Kate is one-upped by one of her swim smoke sisters. But it happens. And in this instance, Kate’s challenge was easily usurped by Genevieve Morton. That’s Genevieve below.

The Rsvlts

Notice the differences between Kate’s ice bucket challenge and Genevieve’s. I count four.

Also, these shorts are nowhere to be found.

Genevieve may have won this battle. But Kate is winning the war. (NSFW again.)

At times like these, we need to stop looking at what makes us different, and start looking at what we share in common.

Kate and Genevieve give hope to us all.

The Free Beacon’s election model, KATE, continues her meta-analysis of the 2014 midterms. Last week, she predicted that President Obama would probably resign before the end of the year. This week, KATE used her unconventional methods to project Democratic turnout on Election Day. You’ll never guess what she found.

When asked to calculate the turnout rate among people who regularly watch comedian John Oliver DESTROY things—a key segment of the liberal base—KATE produced the following result:

KATE’s theoretical polling aggregation vortex churned out some interesting data on the voting habits of liberal millenials:

WFB

Stay tuned for further crucial election analysis.

America’s most celebrated celebrity has a passion for war—the game, that is. Kate Upton is urging her Twitter followers to “check her out” by downloading “Game of War—Fire Age,” a new game app available on iTunes.

So excited! I’ve waited so long to be in a game! Check me out! https://t.co/YbEWLHEIA5

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) November 15, 2014

Billed as “the most addicting, interactive Action Strategy MMO GAME,” the app is already receiving rave reviews from users.

“The man, the myth the legend” writes:

You can watch the trailer here:

Are you addicted yet?

TheRsvlts.com

What about now?

#winning/rsvlts.com

What about now?

NOW?

rsvlts.com

Beginning in 2012, the Free Beacon has marked the end of each year by celebrating the men who lived the hardest, loved the softest, and made America American. Previous winners can be found here.

Freedom has been under withering assault since 2008, but continues to hang on, thanks to these great men. Watch our video for a taste of what’s to come, and check back with us on Monday, December 29, to find out who made this year’s list.

Trigger warning: The language in our latest movie is a little salty.

HBO has announced that it will air episodes from Game of Throne’s last season in IMAX. Meh. For the series to truly make an impact on the big screen, it needs Kate Upton.

Upton’s acting prowess has barely been tapped into, and her recent appearances in Game of War ads might as well be an audition tape for Game of Thrones. By my conservative estimate the ads played roughly every 1.2 seconds during the wild card round of the NFL playoffs, guaranteeing that series creator George R.R. Martin, who is a huge NFL fan, must have seen them.

And to no one’s suprise, Kate Upton nailed it.

Here she is riding a horse.

And here she is striding purposefully through the battlefield. Notice the way she remains collected despite the bloodshed around her.

This is her in a swimming pool.

I’m not one to spoil a quality HBO series by reading ahead in the books, so I don’t know where the story is going, but with a creative genius like George R.R. Martin, who is even willing to kill off top characters, it can go anywhere. Luckily, so can Kate.

Game of Thrones in space? Check.

Game of Thrones dance off? Check.

Game of Thrones creepy photo shoot? Done.

TheRsvlts.com

Honestly, Kate Upton should be in all of the shows. All of them. Every single one.

Last night, the Internet finally lost its collective mind:

The @buzzfeed “What Color is This Dress” post has been viewed more than 4 million times in 3 hours. The Internet is amazing/awful.

— Chris Cillizza (@TheFix) February 27, 2015

Chris is referring to this piece. If you click through, you’ll find that some people are arguing about whether or not a blue and black dress—or at least a dress made to look blue and black through some kind of color modification or the lighting in which the picture was taken—should be described as “white and gold.”

But it got me thinking: Maybe I’ve been thinking about color all wrong! Maybe what I perceive as blue and black is just white and gold! Maybe I’m the one with the problem. So let’s put it to the test!

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

rricheung Instagram

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

simplycelebstyles Instagram

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

Blue and Black? Or White and Gold?

TheRsvlts.com

BLUE AND BLACK OR WHITE AND GOLD OR BLUE AND GOLD OR WHITE AND BLACK

BLUE OR WHITE OR GOLD OR BLACK OR BLUE OR WHITE OR YELLOW OR RED OR GOLD

Sports Illustrated

Gathered Wednesday in Florida were the three best things America has to offer—Kate Upton, puppies, and baseball.

Upton graced a spring training baseball game between the Washington Nationals and her boyfriend Justin Verlander’s Detroit Tigers, and she brought puppies.

As could be expected, it was glorious.

@KateUpton Twitter

The #Nats are happy to welcome @KateUpton & her furry friends with the Grand Slam Adoption Event to today’s game! pic.twitter.com/uV4QkMaqSE

— Washington Nationals (@Nationals) March 11, 2015

Thanks everyone who made today happen! @ChristieU@JustinVerlander@tigers@Nationals@BCSO_Adopt@BrevardSheriffpic.twitter.com/FtVuatIdeh

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) March 11, 2015

Here is another picture of Upton and a puppy:

Kate Upton Instagram

And here are more pictures, some of Upton and some of puppies:

Kate Upton in snow / Sports Illustrated

Abe in snow

Kate Upton posing

Puppy posing

Kate Upton near beach / Sports Illustrated

Abe near beach

Source: http://bit.ly/zfB6X9

Kate Upton in winter wear / Sports Illustrated

Abe in winter wear

The Washington Free Beacon was shocked to find the New York Post reporting that Kate Upton’s ego is “ruining her career.”

After spending the entirety of the 40 hours since the report was published analyzing the full body of her work, however, we have found that the Post is terribly mistaken. Kate Upton is just as perfect as ever and is doing great.

“Industry insiders are saying her meteoric rise has started its downward trajectory—and part of the reason for that is her own attitude,” wrote the Post, quoting a fashion publicist who told the paper Upton “became really unappreciative of her success.”

The fashion publicist is likely jealous because Upton ditched her agents in an attempt to leave the boring fashion world to pursue bigger things. Writer Kirsten Fleming argues that Upton doesn’t have the acting prowess needed to make this jump.

Pish-posh. There are millions of movies that would be perfect for Upton.

How about any movie with a pool?

Any pool without Upton in it is a waste of a pool.

You see what I mean.

Unlike most flawless 22-year-olds, Upton is also fully trained for zero-g and looks perfect in space.

Sports Illustrated

Stomp the Yard 3?

The Super Troopers guys are always talking about sequels. How about Beer Fest 2?

Or how about Hollywood takes another shot at Bagger Vance, this time without any Scientologists? Arnold Palmer likes the idea.

Fleming writes that Upton’s delivery of the line “Do you want to come and play?” in a Game of War Superbowl ad has made some anonymous sources say that Upton “should have stuck to modeling.”

Excuse me, I wasn’t paying attention.

Kate Upton in ‘Game of War’ ad

Game of War doesn’t seem to have taken a hit. It is spending $40 million to put Upton’s ad on the air, and the game is raking in more than $1 million every day.

When Upton isn’t making tons of money, she has been giving back to the community. Just weeks ago she brought a bunch of dogs that need to be adopted to a Washington Nationals spring training game, creating a utopian blend of baseball, puppies, and Upton.

Washington Nationals Twitter

I assure you that this thrilled puppy does not think anything about Upton is ruined.

Kate Upton Twitter

The New York Post should immediately retract their article, and apologize to Upton, who is an American hero.

TheRsvlts.com

The Kate Upton “Cat Daddy” video that fundamentally transformed America for the better was made without Upton’s permission and she was mad that it was released, the Washington Free Beacon has learned.

Upton said in an interview with Vogue UK that her immediate reaction to the viral video was to tell filmmaker Terry Richardson that it was “disrespectful” to not inform her that he intended to release it. She thought it was just being made for fun and would be seen only by the people at the photoshoot.

Upton didn’t stay mad at Richardson, though, and now says everything is “obviously fine.”

Though the video helped launch Upton’s career, Richardson takes no credit for what Upton has become. “Kate was born a star,” he told Vogue UK.

Richardson, however, certainly deserves credit for the editorial decisions made during production of the groundbreaking film.

Upton only dances for about 15 seconds before telling the cameras that it was all they were going to get. Richardson then takes us back and runs the performance again in slow-motion—a camera setting that was invented for Upton.

Good call, Terry. Here is more slow motion Upton:

Kate Upton could be taking her talents to a baseball town near you.

The beginning of the baseball season is a time for Kate Upton to go on a tour of America’s cities, according to a photo taken by a real American and obtained by the Washington Free Beacon.

Upton was spotted this week picking up beer with pitcher Justin Verlander at a Pittsburgh market. Verlander’s Tigers were in town facing the Pittsburgh Pirates.

That’s Kate on the right.

Verlander remains on the disabled list, and had to cut short a simulated game he threw yesterday due to “fatigue.”

We understand.

According to The Wrap, Free Beacon favorite Kate Upton is a finalist for a major role in the forthcoming Harry Potter spinoff Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Here’s The Wrap:

Warner Bros. and director David Yates have narrowed down their choices for the two female leads opposite Eddie Redmayne’s Newt Scamander in J.K. Rowling‘s “Harry Potter” spinoff “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” TheWrap has learned.

Saoirse Ronan, Dakota Fanning, Lili Simmons and Alison Sudol are up for the role of Tina, while Kate Upton, Katherine Waterston and Elizabeth Debicki are being eyed to play Tina’s older sister, Queenie, multiple individuals familiar with the situation have told TheWrap.

Though it’s unclear whether all of those actresses are available or even wish to pursue the project, several of them already have test deals in place, and Redmayne is expected to read alongside them during those tests, which are slated to take place over the next week.

Obviously, we here at the Free Beacon are cheering for Kate to win the role. Here’s the Beacon on her breakout performance in the 2014 classic, The Other Woman:

The film picks up after Upton’s introduction, which comes almost an hour into the film. Amber’s unflappable joie de vivre is infectious—Kate’s rapport with the beautifully built beach siren is accurately described as an “insane girl-crush” by Carly.

In this, Upton brings to the screen the very quality that has made her a superstar in real life. Despite her obvious sex appeal—and the resentment that generally invites—Upton has managed to charm women and men alike. She’s like the anti-Anne Hathaway.

For all of the weaknesses in the script, which is clichéd and dull from time to time, the filmmakers have done one thing right: They’ve played to Upton’s strengths.

No movie about Fantastic Beasts is complete without Kate Upton. Make the right choice, Warner Bros.!

When last we brought you some Hollywood casting news, the potential of Kate Upton’s ‘Fantastic Beasts’ was being discussed. Even if she fails to nab that plum gig, however, we still have lots of Upton to look forward to. Turns out that she’s starring in the William H. Macy-directed comedy The Layover with none other than San Andreas‘ Alexandra Daddario:

Kate Upton may be one of the world’s most in demand supermodels, but it sounds like her movie career is coming along quite nicely, thankyouverymuch.

She’s currently shooting the William H. Macy-directed road trip comedy The Layover with Alexandra Daddario.

“She is so much fun,” Daddario said of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl at the premiere of her new action disaster film San Andreas (in theaters tomorrow). “She’s so smart and she’s so amazing and we’re having the best time. I hope that comes out on screen because there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t laugh hysterically.”

This is great to hear! The world is always a better place with a smile on your face:

Alexandra Daddario

This pair teaming up is supremely good news, my friends. As we know, Upton was the breakout star in last year’s The Other Woman:

The film picks up after Upton’s introduction, which comes almost an hour into the film. Amber’s unflappable joie de vivre is infectious—Kate’s rapport with the beautifully built beach siren is accurately described as an “insane girl-crush” by Carly.

In this, Upton brings to the screen the very quality that has made her a superstar in real life. Despite her obvious sex appeal—and the resentment that generally invites—Upton has managed to charm women and men alike. She’s like the anti-Anne Hathaway.

For all of the weaknesses in the script, which is clichéd and dull from time to time, the filmmakers have done one thing right: They’ve played to Upton’s strengths.

And Daddario’s perf was a lone bright spot in this weekend’s San Andreas:

One bright spot is Alexandra Daddario, a fine young talent who burst onto the scene last year during HBO’s True Detective. She puts a human face on the horror emanating from the big screen, and her buoyant personality brightens up an otherwise drab bit of filmmaking. If there’s any justice, she’ll be a big name for years to come.

The Upton-Daddario tag team is something to keep an eye on in the months ahead. The Free Beacon anticipates great things out of this duo.

Supermodel Kate Upton came out swinging against New York City mayor Bill de Blasio on Wednesday, criticizing the Sandinista sympathizer for cracking down on popular ridesharing service Uber in the city.

“Why do you want to return to days when only those in Midtown & Lower Manhattan could get a ride?” Upton asked on Twitter.

Kate Upton Instagram

.@BilldeBlasio Why do you want to return to days when only those in Midtown & Lower Manhattan could get a ride? #UberMovesNYC

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) July 22, 2015

Kate Upton Twitter

Upton’s endorsement of Uber’s market-driven success, and her opposition to punitive regulations pushed by New York’s taxi cab cartel, is likely to further cement her status as a symbol of freedom and American exceptionalism.

Kate Upton Twitter

Supermodel and American hero Kate Upton proved again that she is America’s sweetheart as she took the sky in a World War II P-51 Mustang aircraft for a flyover at Wrigley Field.

On Wednesday night, Upton shared a video to her Instagram account that shows her flying alongside other P-51 Mustangs.

The P-51 Mustang is a long-range single-seat fighter and bomber aircraft that was used during World War II and the Korean War. The Mustangs seen in the video were refitted with a second seat to allow one passenger.

Upton also took time to thank American veterans with her video. Upton wrote “thank you to all those that have served! #veterans #p51mustang #wrigleyfield @WWIImuseum.”

Upton honored American veterans while flying over a baseball game in a U.S. fighter jet. There is no question Upton is America’s sweetheart.

A video posted by Kate Upton (@kateupton) on Aug 19, 2015 at 5:58pm PDT

The big dumb Internet fight this week revolved around the author of some recent James Bond books saying that Idris Elba is “too street” to play Bond. Obviously, this was deeply problematic.

But, honestly, I think the real problem here is that Elba himself is not nearly progressive enough a choice. Sure, a “black Bond” would be cool. But a truly liberated Hollywood would do the right thing and pick a female Bond.

Whoa, whoa, clam down. I know this is a radical proposition. But ladies can be special agents too. Allow me to suggest a few fantastic choices for Jamie Bond.

Keira Knightley

Pros: She’s shown off her action chops in films like Pirates of the Caribbean; won’t have to fake an English accent.

Cons: Jaw might get distracting, though high level of pointiness could make it a sneaky weapon in a fight.

Emily Blunt

Pros: She’s pretty much perfect in every way.

Cons: See pros.

Kate Beckinsale

Pros: Seem fairly obvious to me.

Cons: I dunno, maybe not the best actress but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Kelly Brook

Pros: A dark horse candidate, the star of Piranha 3D and One Big Happy would bring a certain vibrancy to the role of James Bond.

Cons: Inexperienced, medium talent. Of course, this didn’t stop George Lazenby, whose only credit prior to taking on the role of Bond was on General Hospital. As a result, the only objections to Kelly Brook are rooted in the basest of sexism.

Gal Gadot

Pros: First Israeli Bond!

Cons: May be tied up with Wonder Woman for the time being.

Scarlett Johansson

Pros: Has shown off physical chops in films such as The Avengers and Lucy; equally good with action and comedy.

Cons: American accent could be a problem.

Jennifer Lawrence

Pros: Brings a sultry side to Bond; it’s not all about punching and kicking, you know.

Cons: sorry too busy looking at that gif to come up with one ask me later maybe

Sofia Vergara

Pros: A two-fer (first female Bond and first non-white Bond).

Cons: Accent, though sexy as noted in the gif above, can sometimes make understanding her a bit hard. Might make a better villain tbh.

IMPORTANT UPDATE

My friend Brian Faughnan noted an important omission on Twitter.

Kate Upton

Pros: Experience in zero-g will ready her for Moonraker-style action. Best new actress of 2014.

Cons: So all-American that she may not be able to sublimate her Americanness. I mean, can this person really pull off a Brit?

rsvlts.com

I’m not so sure.

The post Idris Elba Should NOT Be the Next Bond appeared first on Washington Free Beacon.

Kate Upton was in New York City this weekend for the launch of a new Michael Kors’ fragrance collection and proved that although she prefers to wear tiny bikinis, she can rock an expensive dress too.

Upton showed up to the Gold Collection launch event at The Standard Hotel wearing a partially see-through black and gold dress. Or is it white and blue?

Carmen Valdes/Photo Image Press/Splash News

Here is the full dress.

Photo by Carmen Valdes / Photo Image Press / Splash News

The press at the event couldn’t get enough of Kate.

Kate Upton / Photo by Nancy Rivera / Splash News

Upton killed it all day with her outfits. This is how she showed up to the event.

Kate Upton / Christopher Peterson / Splash News

Clearly, whether wearing a bikini or a Michael Kors suit, Upton can do no wrong.

But she should still wear bikinis.

The post Important Kate Upton Fashion Update appeared first on Washington Free Beacon.

New York Fashion Week has been all about Kate Upton, who has shed her image as a mere swimsuit model to become an icon in the high fashion world.

Just when it seemed like her looks couldn’t get much better, she showed up Wednesday night at the Harper’s Bazaar Icons event at the Plaza Hotel in a dress that reminded everybody why Upton is America’s Model.

Kate Upton arrives at the Harper’s Bazaar Icons event / Image Press / Splash News

Upton’s “cleavage stole the show” at the event, according to the Daily Mail. Other models likely questioned why they even showed up, as Upton got all the attention.

Richie Buxo / Splash News

Kate doesn’t need to rely on simply showing skin to steal the show. She was the main attraction at the Narciso Rodriguez show on Tuesday—while rocking baggy pants.

ACE / INFphoto.com

Similar to when she showed up at fashion week in a suit.

Elder Ordonez / INFphoto.com

Or this modest number she wore around town on Tuesday night.

Ouzounova / Splash News

Though it is only Thursday and Kate will surely have more in store for the world to see, it is already clear—Upton has won fashion week.

The post Kate Upton’s Fashion Week Looks Continue to Dazzle appeared first on Washington Free Beacon.

W Magazine will likely break sales records for its Korea issue in October since Kate Upton basically crushed her role as cover girl and delivered a flawless photo shoot.

The cover photo being featured by W Korea is even more proof that she can turn heads even when not flaunting her assets on a beach.

Kate Upton Twitter

The pictures inside the issue, however, are vintage Upton.

My personal favorite is this one of Upton pumping iron:

Upside-down Upton is also not a bad look:

Honestly, there is very little that Upton could do in this gym outfit that wouldn’t be worthy of a magazine cover.

Aside from wearing a Washington Free Beacon tactical vest, that is.

The post Kate Upton Owns Role as Korean Cover Girl appeared first on Washington Free Beacon.