No man is an island. And at last night’s Bruins/Habs game, Justin Verlander was lumped in with the rest of us living in the Upton-ited States of Kate.

In a Game 7 featuring two of the Original Six teams battling for a berth in the Eastern Conference Finals, Verlander had eyes locked in on second base. Unluckily for Justin, the camera struck him out looking.

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I’m not hating on Verlander. We’ve all been caught with our eyes looking in the backfield.

It was interesting that while attending a game featuring Boston and Montreal, Kate was sporting a Detroit Tigers hat. But hey, I’m not asking any questions. Kate can wear whatever the heck she wants.

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Verlander was out that night despite having pitched for the Tigers earlier in the day. Any other guy would have been chill watching the hockey game on TV from the hotel room. I reckon Kate dragged his ass out.

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Luckily for Verlander, she made it worth his effort.

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I’ll give the blooming romance between Justin Verlander and Kate Upton one thing, it’s not your stereotypical super smoke/pro athlete tryst. Uptonologists everywhere believe it to be a grounded relationship. Don’t expect Kate and Verlander on the cover of Spanish Vogue nekkid anytime soon.

Justin and Kate used the Tigers’ Boston road trip as an excuse to hang out in the cradle of the American Revolution. They were sure to leave their mark inside Fenway Park’s famed Green Monster.

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Verlander didn’t have to worry too much about work this trip since he had already pitched on Thursday. The Tigers  rolled through the defending World Series champs, leaving the Ace alone to spend the weekend as he should have.

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Verlander and Kate also attended a Boston playoff hockey game the night before. She made the game worth his time.

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Back in March, the couple was also seen at Bay Hill at Arnold Palmer’s golf tournament. Arnie invites just about anyone to play in his pro-am.

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Verlander was busy that weekend fending off the advances by tournament’s namesake octogenarian. Just so you know, the King and Kate have some history.

Not only does Verlander have to fend off living legends, he’s had to fight back against cocky mascots.

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The couple was first seen in a commercial for MLB 2K12 when Kate had Verlander carried away for dressing as Randy Johnson. Baseball video game ads are weird.

Needless to say, the couple has come a long way.

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Isn’t love grand?

Welcome to the party, Vogue. It’s about damn time.

It’s time to talk boobs. After all, everyone else is. And with good reason, because breasts – the big, bouncy, bodacious sort that heaved their way through the Golden Age of Hollywood – are back.

Why, yes. Yes they are.

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High end fashion never looked so good.

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Uptonologists have known for years what Anna Wintour appears to have just learned recently. The Kate Upton business is good business. No super smoke spans the political spectrum quite like she does.

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Vogue quoted Kate’s agent, who also represents super smoke Gisele Bundchen.

“While models with boobs were previously discounted from a lot of high-end editorials, thanks to the size of the designer samples, which tended to discount breasts,” Ellis says, “Recently we’ve been seeing designers more willing to change samples to fit a special girl.”

Special, indeed.

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Vogue then attempted to explain why those with a single X chromosome welcome the shift in spending.

Men love boobs – that’s a well-documented story we needn’t explore here. But for women, as is true for fashion, the relationship is more complicated. In short, breasts are difficult to dress.

Clearly.

One of the amazing things about Kate is her versatility. I mean, she can succeed in any environment. On the beach:

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In space:

Poolside:

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Even spelunking:

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Make it rain, Kate Upton.

Up and coming super smokes have to work hard to make an impression. Some cavort half-nekkid in music videos. Another might improvise a dance captured on a nearly iPhone. And for many, a mere Instagram will suffice. Among them: Alexandria Morgan.

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Miss Morgan has taken the bro sites by storm with her Insta-ode to the Triangle and the Alan Parsons Project. I am late to the party. She didn’t catch my eye until her recent Memorial Day spread for The Roosevelts.

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Let me just state for the record that I think Alexandria is a winner. She has even caught the eye of SI‘s swim smoke casting call blog, aka my Bible, the very same publication that inducted Emily Ratajkowski into the SI swim smoke sisterhood.

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Speaking of SI swim smokes, Alexandria reminds me of one in particular.

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Can you see the resemblance?

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Blonde hair, blue eyes? Patriotic?

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Able to cut a rug?

Bingo.

Because ‘Merica/rsvlts.com

I can see how it might be going too far to call Alexandria the next Kate Upton. Alexandria is 20, an age at which Kate had already claimed two SI covers.

In Alexandria’s defense, she’s only been modeling for year.

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And what a year it has been.

FHM and Maxim’s financial straits can be tied directly to their Top 100 lists.

Maxim placed Victoria Secret angel Candice Swanepoel on the top of their smoke pyramid.

Yes, Candice, you.

Candice is a fine pick as the sexiest lady in the land. She’s a definite upgrade over Maxim’s atrocious number one pick last year.

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The rest of the 100 was fairly solid.

You had Israeli advocate Scarlett Johannson slotted at #2.

Fresh after bringing back our girls, Irina Shayk clocked in at #4.

Life changing Margot Robbie made her debut on the Maxim list at #22.

For her efforts in Ukraine, Hayden Panettiere was placed 26th.

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Another rookie who made her debut was Dylan Penn, daughter of Sean Penn. Thank goodness she takes after her mother.

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In what can be seen as a disappointment, SI cover smoke and hoops fan Nina Agdal was slotted at #37.

Free from Robin Thicke from holding her down, Paula Patton was placed 48th.

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Shockingly, Maxim fell into the same trap that befell FHM. Their readership also bumped Kate Upton out of the Top 10. When will these magazines ever learn from their mistakes?

NO! Cara Delevinge is not hotter than Kate!

But it’s OK Cara, it’s not your fault.

SI has already laid out the blueprint to remain profitable in the days where bro-blogs and online politics/foreign policy news sites for free use GIFs and laxer standards of decency. There’s a reason Kate’s been on the cover for three straight years.

Kate Upton is graduating to a bigger and brighter future. That means  the search for her successor in the swim smoke game has begun. And the contest is so cutthroat, it’s beginning to resemble the War of the Five Kings.

Not even a week has gone by since Alexandria Morgan was floated as Kate’s successor. Yet this morning I was introduced to a young Insta-smoke named Charlotte McKinney.

That’s not a bad thing.

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Charlotte and Kate share more in common than the obvious.

“I’m embracing what I have,” she told Esquire. “I’m a curvier bombshell with big boobs. I’m not high-fashion. I don’t do runway. You won’t see me at Fashion Week.”

You won’t see her at Fashion Week because she doesn’t need it. The beach is her runway.

Don’t fall in, Charlotte!

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It takes a superior model to force us to reconsider the value of overalls.

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At 5′ 7″, Charlotte is shorter than Kate. But she measures up in other arenas, such as her sunny disposition.

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Charlotte told TheSkinnyConfidential.com that her favorite cocktail is a vodka/water. She sometimes mixes her vod with coconut water, which finally gives me a reason to try coconut water.

Charlotte McKinney Instagram

Charlotte is making her way through the modeling world and despite not finishing high school and being far from a Harvard student, she had the balls to still do it. As the poet Shawn Corey Carter once said, you can pay for school, but you can’t buy class.

And Charlotte is nothing but class.

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Will the new, new Kate Upton please stand up?

Charlotte McKinney Instagram

Another claimant to the title will no doubt appear a week from now. This summer is just getting started and the War of the Five Kates is already heating up.

In a questionable instance of Instagram ethics, Dancing With The Stars lothario Maksim Chmerkovskiy snapped a pic of himself in Las Vegas with ex-boo Kate Upton draped across his shoulder. He removed the incriminating photo minutes later. I smell scandal!

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Bro, first off, don’t take pics in Vegas. Second, if you do, taking them down only fuels speculation that you were creeping and afraid of getting caught.

The Kate in that photo is not the Kate we know and adore. It was not even a month ago that she was last seen basking in young love’s thrilling and tender embrace with current flame Justin Verlander. An embrace of Verlander’s eyeballs, I mean.

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Page Six says that the deleted pic hints at trouble in paradise. Color me a hopeless romantic, but I disagree with that conclusion. Kate’s whole empire is founded on social media savvy. There’s no way she’d be so clueless to allow it to ruin a relationship.

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I refuse to believe she’d be that sloppy with her public image, given that she’s revealed considerably more depth than your average swim-smoke. Then again, three shots of Ace of Spades is enough to impair even Pope Francis’s sense of ethics.

I still don’t see how a couple that showed up in two different Escalades to attend a Halloween party when they were official would be foolish enough to be photographed so suggestively.

The truly toasted Kate is the one we saw in the other Met Ball elevator, where she adorably slurred Cara Delevingne’s name.

The photo was likely taken between old friends who then realized bloggers like myself can pump out 200 words of conjecture and rumor just off a single photograph, and quickly removed the photo to escape the headache.

I don’t think Kate would be stepping out on Verlander. If she’s going to get back with Chmerkovskiy, she’d do the pitcher proper by yanking him in the third inning.

Kate Upton is better than a deleted Instagram post.

Amirite?

Private golf clubs remain one of the country’s few remaining “good old boys clubs.” The Los Angeles County Country Club is one such private golf course. It’s a modern He-Men Women Hater’s Club of sorts, with a strict “no ladies-before-you-sober-up-at-noon” policy.

Newly minted golfer Kate Upton just became aware of this.

I just heard that Los Angeles Country Club doesn’t allow women to golf until noon.That is the most insulting news I’ve heard! It’s 2014

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) June 4, 2014

Who better than Kate Upton to challenge golf’s outdated social mores?

She is blessed by the King after all.

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Look, if someone is going to smash the glass ceiling keeping women from scheduling a 8:00AM tee time at the LACC, it’s Kate Upton. She’s taken on the modeling industry and won.

She’s taken on the high fashion industry and won.

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Everyone knows how “Kate v. Gravity” turned out.

The Los Angeles Country Club has a strict “Winners Only” policy.

Who wins more than Kate Upton?

Imagine my surprise when my boss ordered me to be an actual journalist yesterday. For obvious reasons, I couldn’t say no—despite the significance of the date. Yesterday just so happened to be the second-most important day of the year (next to the college football season kickoff).

Because yesterday was Katherine Elizabeth Upton’s 22nd birthday.

But you know what they say: Good things come to those who wait.

Kate’s latest swim smoke video is so good, I dabbled with some tunes to give the video some extra “juice” (No White Ford Bronco). With proper tunes, you can turn the above drop of perfection into this…

Wait! I’ve got more for you!

Some Kate Upton GIFs speak for themselves.

Let’s just let the shawty party. It’s her birthday.

Perhaps the best use of musical accompaniment is the song that inspired Kate herself. 

Happy belated birthday, Kate!

Because ‘Merica/rsvlts.com

We wouldn’t be the same without you.

Sports Illustrated

Country music is bearable only 1) when you’re blasted in the Jiffy Lube Live parking lot wallowing in a kiddie pool full of sangria or 2) used in the background of the fantastic reality show “Party Down South.” If there isn’t any honkytonk badonkadonk jumping on the hood of daddy’s tractor, get on out. “Bro-country” 4 lyfe.

There is only one person in the land who could get me to listen to country music.

Lady Antebellum called in BFF Kate Upton to star in the music video for their latest single, “Bartender,”which dropped today. The song models itself on Sugar Ray’s early 2000’s classic “Mr. Bartender,” but from the lady’s perspective.

A newly single Kate is dialing up her crew to throwdown, “woo girl” style. They just wanna dance!

Bartender Tony Hale is perhaps the only man on the planet to have this reaction when meeting Kate Upton.

Like the true Michigander/Floridan that she is, Kate throws ‘em back like the champ.

This scene calls to mind the time Kate celebrated her 21st birthday, which was the night before her iconic shoot in “The Other Woman.”

You begin to wonder: how long can Kate go?

Obviously she was properly hydrated.

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Typical of any wild night, the occasion called for Fireball shots at 1AM.

Astonishingly, Kate kept on trucking.

It should to be no surprise that Kate Upton hangs with the big dogs. She’s conquered the cold …

… and reversed gravity.

Now, with the help of Lady A, Kate’s conquered hangovers.

What can’t Kate Upton do?

News broke late last night that NBC—which controversially paid noted non-journalist-with-a-famous-relative Chelsea Clinton $600,000 per year to interview the GEICO Gecko—was considering hiring Pippa Middleton—the sister of the gal who married the guy who might one day be King of England—to join the NBC news team.

Some were annoyed by the announcement. The Washington Post‘s Alyssa Rosenberg,* for instance, was particularly nonplussed:

Please, NBC. For the love of all that is dignified, stop hiring women who are related to somewhat-more-famous people. Stop it immediately.

I couldn’t help but worry that this would get Alyssa in dutch with Amy Weiss-Meyer, who, two weeks ago, authored a piece for the New Republic headlined “Chelsea Clinton Made $600,000 a Year at NBC. That Upset a Lot of Male Journalists.” The thrust of Weiss-Meyer’s argument? Clinton’s wholly unjustified and unearned position and salary were striking a blow against sexism!

No, seriously. Here’s Weiss-Meyer:

Journalism is plagued by a serious gender problem: Just over a third of bylines and on-camera appearances go to women, and virtually all major American newspapers and wire services feature a majority of articles by men. …

Her impressive paycheck, deserved or not, is a step toward balancing the scale.

Equality!

Anyway, it seems to me that Middleton’s job is just more of the same, another blow for equality in a field dominated by men. She’s obviously photogenic enough!

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And, really, who is more qualified to report on high society than the big star of the latest royal wedding?

Women are woefully underrepresented on sports desks; the Women’s Media Center gave newsrooms a big, fat “F” when it comes to gender diversity and sports reporting. Yikes! Adding Pippa to the sports room would be another blow for gender equality, amirite?

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Lord knows she spends enough time at Wimbledon to comment on it in a pseudo-expert sort of way.

Already an icon, Middleton would likely excel as a fashion commentator:

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Look at Joan, Giuliana, Kelly, and George! There’s a new fashion policewoman on the block.

Nonprofits and charities are dreadfully undercovered on network television. Pippa’s experience attending the Boodles Boxing Ball—which benefits the Starlight Children’s Foundation—would make her a real plus for NBC.

I for one hope NBC doesn’t get cowed by the naysayers. Frankly, Pippa’s resume strikes me as far more impressive than Miss Clinton’s. This is one blow for equality I can get behind. If I’m being honest, however, I do have one worry. Why pick a Brit for this position? I can think of a red-blooded American woman related to a politician who would be a great addition to any newsroom. That’s right, you guessed it:

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Why pick one, though, when you could have both? Amy Weiss-Meyer is right: We need all the diversity we can get!

*Thanks to Alyssa for inspiring this post!

Be it hangovers or subzero temperatures, Kate Upton rises to every challenge.

It’s enough to make a gal tired, however. Sometimes she needs some rest.

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#NoFilter because Kate Upton doesn’t need your X-Pro II filter, Instagram.

Needless to say, she’s mastered the supine position.

Kate lying down forces the world to have to pay attention to her callipygous assets.

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Kate doesn’t need to flail about to stay cool.

It’s a relief to know if her raft ever flips over, she has spare life preservers.

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She knows how to leverage the ground to the desired effect. An underrated skill in my book.

After all, an object in motion stays in motion.

Gravity, schmavity.

This year’s World Cup has inspired a display of national unity and pride. The enthusiasm is especially notable because 99 percent of us returned to not caring about soccer as soon as America was defeated by Belgium on Tuesday.

While the World Cup is once every four years, American pride is forever. Whether Old Glory is playing soccer or not, millions of Americans do their part to inspire pride by honoring our colors with patriotic bikinis.

Little known fact: swimsuit season is exactly why our Founding Fathers signed the Declaration of Independence in early July. No excuses: Wear your red, white, and blue bikini like a champion. July 4th is the one day of the year when we renew our vows to kick as much ass as possible in as little clothing as is allowed by municipal law.

Happy Independence Day, Americans!

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#winning/rsvlts.com

Kate Upton doesn’t ask much of you people. So when she does, you better listen up.

Listening to this amazing album!! Download it and let me know if you love it too! @arielupton… http://t.co/ecikbm6UGw

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) July 7, 2014

Kate’s cousin Ariel is a marketing professional in Chicago who has been singing for over ten years. Ariel decided she was going to follow her dreams by releasing her first album with the aid of Kickstarter; “The Circle of It” debuted on iTunes last week.

“The Circle of It All” is a bit different than Kate’s first foray into music two weeks earlier.

Ariel channels Florence and the Machine in her strong and soulful howl, but eschews the band’s anthemic stylings for a more indie/coffee house sound. However, unlike that cheerful fundraising video, “The Circle of It All” has a muted optimism that’s coated with a malaise and regret over former lovers.

Exactly, Kate. That’s what I thought.

While her famous cousin has lived a charmed existence that’s brought her to the heavens and back, Ariel is an everywoman trying to navigate the travails of life as a twenty-something lady in 2014. I knew it was tough being a lady today, but good lord is this album smoldering with melodrama. Ariel spends the album’s ten songs coming to terms with settling in her own skin and setting out in the world on her own.

Ariel uses “The Circle of It All” to spill her heart out, taking late night Facebook diary entires and adding music to them. “Ghost” and “Breaks” are rife with uncertainty and failed romantic endeavors. I’d hate to be the bro who pissed her off.

Ariel sounds like she could have used a jazzy piano and a Hot Pocket.

Not until the album’s closing track, “In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb,” does Ariel finally let down her defenses and bring in the rock drums. It’s refreshing after an album chock full of healthy angst.

Hopefully Ariel has emptied out her target list and we can hear from the self-appointed “queen of sunshine” in her next release.

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If there’s anything that’s hereditary among the Uptons, it’s bringing the light in.

That and putting family first.

Happy 21st!

Businesses failing to adapt to changing markets are as American as apple pie and college football. But I’m optimistic about clothes and apparel vendor Express’ future, as they have phoned in America’s premier turnaround smoke: Kate Upton.

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Kate’s already proven commodity she can boost magazine sales. Why wouldn’t her skills translate to selling clothes?

Since Express went public in 2010, the retailer has struggled in sales and interest. Four years of stagnant growth and declining relevancy convinced the company to enlist its first celebrity spokeswoman in over a decade.

The Motley Fool asked “How Could Kate Upton Help Save Express?”

Decreased traffic and heightened promotional activity stunted first-quarter 2014 earnings growth for Express. In the first quarter of 2014, the company’s e-commerce sales decreased 2% compared with the first quarter a year ago. Lower e-commerce sales resulted from decreased traffic to the express.com website.

Decreased online traffic was consistent with decreased traffic at Express retail locations, too. Comparable sales, excluding e-commerce sales, decreased 12% from one year ago, and both net income and earnings per share decreased 84% compared with the first quarter of 2013. For the fiscal quarter ended May 3, Express reported a profit of $5.1 million, compared with $32.4 million a year earlier.

Those are pretty bleak numbers, so it makes sense to hire a ray of sunshine like Kate.

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If fashion designers are already adjusting their clothes for women built like Kate, why not get the real Kate to sell the clothes to them?

Express announced March 12 that Upton would be the new face of the fashion brand. The company says she was chosen for three reasons: She’s fresh, she’s sexy, and she’s iconic. In the press release announcing the partnership between Express and the young supermodel, Chairman and CEO Michael Weiss said that the “new partnership highlights the mutual admiration between Express and Kate and is the culmination of two iconic American establishments coming together.”

The fall 2014 denim collection is inspired by Upton’s favorite jeans, and the ad campaign hinges on her claim that she grew up wearing Express jeans. Express is hoping to capitalize on what it considers to be Upton’s “true American girl” identity, which is reflective of the target Express brand consumer.

True. American.

The Kate Upton business is good and business is booming.

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Kate Upton is such good business, even her relatives are gaining visibility from being associated with the super smoke. Express still needs to prove that it can run a good business to go along with all of the good money they’re paying Kate. Kate’s cousin Ariel backs up her cousin’s encouraging tweet with a fairly solid debut LP.

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How can Kate Upton save Express? Well she’s got me writing about them.

The real question: How can Kate Upton save America?

Because ‘Merica/rsvlts.com

“The super smoke sports curse” isn’t really a curse. While Tom Brady hasn’t been able to cash in the two Super Bowls he’s played in since marrying Gisele Bündchen, he still gets to go home as Tom Brady.

Justin Verlander may have missed his first All-Star Game since 2009, but he didn’t stay in Detroit to wallow in self-pity. Like any dude with a couple days off from work, he hightailed it to the beach with his girlfriend.

However, we did learn that no matter how good of a baseball player you may be, your girlfriend is still going to make you get off your ass to go pick up her book.

In all of these not-at-all creepy photos, which you can view at the Daily Mail, we learned a lot about Kate. Like not all of her tan lines are blurred.

While women across the country pick up magazines emblazoned with her visage for beach reading, Kate herself would rather read books with actual words.

Although shame on Verlander for not giving Kate some of that shade from his umbrella. Unless of course, Kate wanted to smooth out some of her farmer’s tan.

The most important factoid gleaned from Kate Upton’s brief excursion south of the border is that Kate Upton’s swimsuit still defies gravity.

Kate Upton puts money in everyone’s pockets. She makes money for herself, she sells magazines, clothes, and she helps pay my rent. Many thanks to Sports Illustrated yesterday for flagging how she’s getting lone Internet entrepreneurs paid.

People are slapping Kate’s visage on t-shirts and selling them on Ebay and Etsy. The market gives what the market demands. How perfectly American.

Because ‘Merica/rsvlts.com

Peep all this Kate Upton swag you can score on the Internet these days:

Nothing screams “take me serious!” to future spouses/employers like rocking a Kate tank top. The better to flex your guns out with.

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Fret not though, you’ll be sure to be taken much more seriously with sleeves.

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While broken clocks may be right only twice a day, with this snazzy Kate Upton clock, you’ll be right on time, all of the time.

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There’s a handbook for Kate Upton? How about you save your money and bookmark this page.

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Want to know why the print edition is dying? Because books can’t do this.

Or this.

I must admit, those are some dapper cufflinks.  I’ll be sure to forward these along to Charles Payne, I hear he’s in the market for some new ones.

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Topps makes smoke trading cards?!?! I guess if Chuck Todd can get a trading card, they’ll make a trading card of anybody. Hey @toppscards, hit me up sometime.

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Since the extent of my knowledge of licensing laws is what I’ve picked up from watching Shark Tank, I’m not 100-percent sure slapping Kate Upton on a pair of Nike socks to make money is exactly legal. 

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Nike has come up with crazier stuff in the past, so who knows if these are officially licensed? Can we expect Marcus Mariota in Eugene to run the spread in these bad boys this fall?

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Having Kate stitched onto your socks would save you some time to prevent any awkward walk-ins by your mom.

From what I can ascertain from my ten second search on their website before getting distracted by the photos, Love Magazine is apparently a fairly new fashion periodical in the U.K. that deals in avant-garde fashion. Hookay.

They did snag some clicks from my browser by slapping Kendall Jenner onto their latest cover.

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Hey, what a minute! As Inquisitr pointed out, that looks mightily familiar!

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Does Love honestly believe Kendall Jenner topless in a eskimo hood a representation of an “american girl” or are they merely dabbling in the Kate Upton business? It’s a tough call.

Looks like we need to go to the tape in another round of “Did Kate Upton Wear It Better?”

For her shoot, Kendall rocked a two-piece.

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Mortal braziers can only hope to reel in Kate’s heavy spending.

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Kendall Jenner wearing a blouse made out of house keys. I told you this magazine is weird.

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There’s nothing experimental about this GIF. That’s unfiltered ‘Murican right there.

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Since this magazine is European, obviously they took advantage of the U.K.’s liberal standards of t-shirt sizes.

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When you pit Kendall against Kate, it’s like throwing Notre Dame against Alabama in college football. There’s not even a discussion.

So I ask again gentle readers, “Did Kate Upton wear it better?”

Sports Illustrated

Yes, Kate Upton did wear it better.

Kate Upton’s latest Instagram post is a bonafide love letter requesting beau Justin Verlander adopt a dashing puppy with a simple “Pleaseeeee” and ensuring that he’d see it by tagging his Instagram account. Trust me Kate, if Verlander didn’t notice your request, the Interwebs would see to it that he did.

It’s apparent Kate’s never been happier and that’s a cause for a celebration. Celebrations call for shots!

Now that it’s back- to-school time, Kate’s gone back to work by landing the new ELLE UK cover.

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Despite the summer heat, she stayed bundled up for the shoot. If you wanted to peek Kate’s summertime spending, that’s what the paparazzi are for.

In the accompanying interview, Kate revealed her humble origin story.

‘When I first started modeling, I was a normal catalogue model,’ Kate explains in the accompanying interview, speaking about her stratospheric rise to fame – with that body.

Sounds like Cinderella except Kate’s fairy godmother is puberty and fantastic genes.

‘Then, I became a woman, and I was really excited about becoming a woman. Because I’m from Florida, it’s all about being in bathing suits. It’s a different view of beauty there. You are ugly if you don’t have a curvy body. And I didn’t have one, and then I got one, and thought, “Yessss!”

Maybe Florida isn’t so bad after all.

While Kate may dazzle a high fashion magazine editor or your average Kate Upton blogger, Verlander was impervious to her wiles. Kate should have known that dog is man’s best friend. #RileyWins

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It appears Kate and Verlander are past the point in their relationship where the girl can just bat her eyelashes and get whatever she wants. However, Verlander has shown his vulnerability in the past.

@thedaddymatt Twitter

If Kate had asked in person, Riley would likely have a new friend.

Justin Verlander may be having his worst season since 2008, but he’s posting the best off-field performance of his career. His masterful performance pitching at Kate Upton this summer should be analyzed, written down, and made into a semi-regular blog for future generations to learn how to spit A+ game.

Peep this 99-mph heater.

We’ve only ever seen what Kate Upton and Verlander’s young love looks like by what they’ve allowed us see.

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(Or what the papparazi has been able to commandeer covertly.)

Kate and Verlander are getting very public. Kate has even tried to publicly pressure the Tigers pitcher to adopt a puppy. Like a true ace, Verlander stayed calm as he shook off the call for a change-up and threw a fastball down the middle for a strike.

Kate Upton Instagram

Kate’s defenses may be impregnable toward gravity and hypothermia, but as she’s reminded us in interview after interview, she’s still a regular girl who happens to be thirsty for the local ballplayer.

Kate has used the Tigers’ road trips as an excuse to travel. She checked out the Green Monster when Detroit visited Boston in  May.

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They also stopped by a Bruins playoff game that weekend.

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The couple hit up the Arnold Palmer Invitational before the baseball season got started.

Kate Upton Instagram

Even after last night’s loss, she wasn’t too heartbroken. This is baseball in early August and Detroit has a commanding 4.5 game lead in their division.