Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton’s day on the Santa Monica Pier was cut short by a wardrobe malfunction.

Model Kate Upton reportedly got booted from the famous Santa Monica Pier for flashing too much flesh during a recent photo shoot.

The 19-year-old stunner and her photo crew were asked by security officials to leave after Upton suffered a wardrobe malfunction, the San Francisco Chronicle’s “Daily Dish” reported Tuesday.

The Sports Illustrated model was at the popular pier working on a photo shoot for GQ magazine. Her skimpy bathing suit reportedly snapped while she and her crew were taking a break to enjoy a fairground ride.

Kate Upon, the first model since Tyra Banks in 1996 and 1997 to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for consecutive years, discussed her shoot in Antarctica and whether she has any political ambitions like her uncle, Rep. Fred Upton (R., Mich.), on Fox News.

Everyone has been sent an email or a G-Chat with a link that says it’s a “must see.”

The clip du jour of 2011 was a grainy cellphone video from a Clippers game starring a catalog model. And with a hip gyration and a snap of her finger, Kate Upton dougied her way into America’s heart.

Upton borrowed from Justin Bieber’s playbook and leveraged her fan base into becoming the definitive supermodel of the New Media era. And now, as the cover model of June’s Vogue, Upton assumes a throne once sat upon by Cindy Crawford. Anna Wintour finally did something right.

Last year will be remembered as the year America reelected Obama, bought the iPhone5, suffered at the hands of the Kardashian chimera, and worshiped Kate Upton. And worship she deserves.

Source: http://bit.ly/zfB6X9

Per Vogue:

And yet Upton’s body has sparked debate. This year’s Sports Illustrated cover—a shot of her in Antarctica, parka open to reveal a stunning breadth of cleavage—set off a fresh round of “Is she fat?” conversations across the Internet.

I don’t see it.

To think that only 15 months ago the Newspaper of Record savaged Kate, writing her off as a mere YouTube celebrity like Antoine Dodson or the Chocolate Rain Guy.

The Times slandered Upton as having “the legs of a W.N.B.A. point guard,” a trait insulting to W.N.B.A. guards. There the Times goes again, making gross generalizations.

In the piece, a member of the Victoria’s Secret brain trust barred Kate from performing in their shows, calling her ”a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

I don’t see it.

Source: http://bit.ly/KF3H3l

For all of the adoration from Tumblr and the 18-to-35-year-old demo, and the fact that she’s a certified dime piece, what I like the most about Upton is her complete self-awareness:

“For a long time, fashion has been going to celebrities,” she said. “Celebrities are on the magazine covers, and nobody wanted models. But why not have a model celebrity? Why not a girl who comes with her own following? Social media brings a personality to models. That’s how consumers today decide what to buy.”

That could have been written by a 20-year vet of Madison Avenue. Kate is not only a smokeshow. She is a businesswoman.

Kate’s Vogue cover isn’t just a triumph for her. It’s a triumph for what America is all about: $$$$$$$.

Victoria’s Secret’s annual practice of slapping “sexiest” in front of a grab bag of nouns continues with the release of the 2013 “What is Sexy” list.

The list is fairly routine.

Now, I proudly own a Y chromosome and am in no place to rule on questions of “style” or “hair.” But do I want to suggest some choice picks of my own.

Sexiest bikini body: Julianne Hough

All that dancing did Julia’s bikini bod good.

Sexiest International Import: Emma Watson

Running the kid-star-turned-edgy-adult-address playbook like a champ.

Sexiest Mom: Jessica Alba

Unafraid to risk a little overexposure.

Lest we forget, though, this is the same VS that has put a ban on this month’s Vogue cover girl. I would like to remove said embargo and to introduce her into this year’s list. The envelope please…

Sexiest actress: Kate Upton
Sexiest international (by way of Florida) import: Kate Upton
Sexiest hair: Kate Upton
Sexiest songstress: Kate Upton
Sexiest bikini body: Kate Upton
Sexiest style: Kate Upton
Sexiest smile: Kate Upton
Sexiest sporty style: Kate Upton
Sexiest sense of humor: Kate Upton
Sexiest legs: Kate Upton
Sexiest lips: Kate Upton
Sexiest (one day) mom : Kate Upton
Sexiest eyes: Kate Upton

The last time Kate Upton dueled the dastardly Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, the lingerie bible denigrated our heroine’s skills and talents:

“She’s like a Page 3 girl,” Ms. Neophitou said, referring to the scantily clad voluptuous women featured in The Sun, a London tabloid. “She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

For now, Neophitou’s prejudices have put the kibosh on Kate’s chances to be featured in the lingerie bible’s fashion show. The wanna-be Anna Wintour’s dictatorship only proves that oligarchs are a vile type of people who care not what the 99.9999999% think.

Fortunately, the actual lingerie bible is run independently from the fashion show. In fact, Kate will be featured on the back page of this summer’s catalog.

Happy Summer

Our heroine graced the pages of Victoria’s Secret before Neophitou’s egregious error. Kate’s work in the lingerie bible is as stellar as the rest of her oeuvre.

She rocks a mean white tee.

She rocks it just as hard when it’s off her body.

Kate enjoys a nice floral pattern.

Kate is a big fan of animals. Here, she commemorates the majestic leopard.

Continuing the animal theme, Kate would make a foxy Cruella de Vil in this Dalmation-patterned ensemble.

Kate is always at her best using accessories. In this instance, an Easter pink bow

Although not featured in the lingerie bible, Kate amazes in a blazing snow-kini.

WFB

I should have listened to my heart instead of my head.

Uproxx

In no possible way would Kate, a two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue COVER MODEL, ever submit to the back cover of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. That’s like a marginally successful primetime cable host requesting to be moved to weekends. Oh wait…

A source from the New York Post says of Kate’s Victoria’s Secret appearance: “The pictures are from 2011” and “Kate’s not currently contracted to work with Victoria’s Secret, and they didn’t contact her before they used these images.”

Happy Summer

Now I don’t know the financial situation of a free panty mag, but the only thing Victoria’s Secret could gain from featuring an outdated photo of Kate on its back cover is the publicity. Top brass must have known people were going to call bullshit, considering the genius who runs their fashion show slandered Kate in the Times last year.

Compare the pic VS is running to photos of Kate in 2013:

Kate has certainly matured.

Source: http://bit.ly/KF3H3l

Turning 21 in America means that our society and legal system accept your participation in the honored tradition of legal intoxication. For young ladies, it’s an especially meaningful event. Every day, co-eds across the nation don Princess crowns and “Buy Me a Shot on my 21st, Biatch!”  sashes to mark the occasion.

June 10 will be known from sea to shining sea as a special day. On behalf of the Washington Free Beacon and Freedom Loving Americans everywhere, I would like to wish Katherine Upton a blessed Birthday.

Uproxx

Kate holds a special place in the bosoms of all of her friends, from fellow supermodel Brooklyn Decker,

Happy Happy!

To her friends and their children.

The only girls who could convince me to go on this ride! #teacups@habfeather @davidkirsch twitter.com/KateUpton/stat… — Kate Upton (@KateUpton) June 3, 2013

Let’s not forget the Animal Kingdom, which also would like to wish Kate a special 21st.

Happy Happy Kate!

You may have heard, but the Free Beacon polled 400 registered New Hampshire voters. In that poll, 49 percent said, if given the choice between spending the evening with Hillary Clinton and Kate Upton, they’d pick Hillary.

That nearly half of Granite Staters said they would spend an evening with Hillary shouldn’t shock anyone with knowledge of the Granite State’s crush on the former secretary of state. But what should be alarming to the rest of the country is only 22 percent of New Hampshire picked Kate Upton.

WTF.

Disregarding the fact that registered voters would hang out with an unemployed former federal employee (we all know how drab those people are) rather than a supermodel, we need to analyze this objectively.

When selecting an accomplice for an evening, the paramount criteria is if that person is interesting. And if they’re not particularly interesting, they sure as hell need to be funny.

We’ve all been inundated with the HRC stat line: For the past four years has traveled 956,733 miles to 112 different countries all to have 1,700 meetings with world leaders. We even are privy to how many airplane meals she’s had (570). You know what that tells me: Hillary knows her way around a plane cabin. Now on the downslope of her career, all HRC is up to these days is following my cutting-edge analysis of casting her biopic.

Kate, meanwhile, is the fastest-rising model on the planet. Like HRC, she’s broken her fair share of glass ceilings. Kate was the first ever to model on Antarctica.

WFB

Don’t you dare hold HRC’s decades-long dalliance with the Imperial City over Kate, Kate-haters. Out of all the exotic locales on the planet Kate could have spent her 21st name day, she spent it in Washington with her uncle, Rep. Fred Upton.

Family Values

She was even blessed by House Speaker John Boehner with his cover of “Happy Birthday.” It’s a tragedy that the speaker didn’t request her as a guest at the State of the Union.

If HRC isn’t going to be interesting, she might as well be funny. In the 30-plus years HRC has been in the public eye, this is the funniest she’s ever been:

Lulz

Vital to Kate’s appeal is that she’s got a genuine sense of humor.

WFB

Credit: http://bit.ly/WtUAcL

I’ll chalk this abnormality in the poll to Granite Staters merely not knowing who the other option was. Kate’s only been on the world stage for roughly 14 months. HRC was a part of the national consciousness years before Kate was even born. I think HRC’s name ID is a tad more potent currently.

But really New Hampshirites? Hillary? She’s not even the most interesting person in her own household.

Kate Upton’s campaign to raise her name ID among Granite Staters has gone from TMZ theatrics to a more traditional approach.

Kate will be the cover model for the July issue of Vogue Brazil. In recent months, Kate’s graced the covers of Sports Illustrated and the domestic Vogue. As matter in fact, she was so proud of her latest shoot, she tweeted that it was her “favorite job.”

“@BrazilModels_: @KateUpton for @VogueBRoficial July 2013 http://t.co/EUbkvTBf7D pic.twitter.com/KgP8OAc6Pd” @lisamariebenson favorite job

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) June 26, 2013

Why I love Brazil: the cover celebrates Kate with “Curvas Sim!”

Vogue Brazil

Curves Yes, indeed!

Kate Upton recently tweeted at the end of her graveyard shift.

Alright the sun is up… Isn’t it time for this night shoot to be over?

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) July 24, 2013

It can’t get any rougher than this.

The one-woman P.R. campaign trucked on. She’s in Mexico, working on an untitled beach project.

Swimsuit modeling is an evergreen vocation.

Needless to say, the swimsuit line she endorses chimed in.

Before she shipped off south of the border, Kate made Twitter swoon in a photograph worth every syllable of every single one of those thousand words.

For the first time in Instagram’s history, the popular photo filtering application made a photo worse.

Chanel Iman Instagram

The mind reels.

Kate Upton is the modeling industries’ savior, showing the world that strong is the new skinny.

We learn today that Kate works with ModelFIT trainer Justin Gelband, the “Model Whisperer” who provides investment strategies for sweat equity. Going out on a limb here, but Gelband may be the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Justin Gelband Twitter

Here’s Gelband on when he began working with Kate:

‘Since the first day I met her, she wanted to come in and change the industry by saying curves are sexy.

‘She’s such a great role model for all the young girls out there.’

Gelband has honed his craft, training models with his unique cocktail of zumba, martial arts, capoeira, pilaties, and yoga. Watch the hand, Gelband!

Justin Gelband Twitter

The only workout he doesn’t subscribe is lunges, for obvious reasons.

Justin Gelband Twitter

Some of Gelband’s tenets:

Try to stay away from heavy exercises — lunges, jumps, heavy weights (anything over 5 pounds), kettle balls — as they add unwanted bulk.

Cut out the hour plus cardio sessions and focus on 30 minutes of intervals every day. For example, if you are working out on a treadmill, where jogging is at 6.0 and running is 7.5, do a minute at 6.0, a minute at 6.1, a minute at 6.2, up till 7.5 then reverse back down. Whatever you do, do not sprint.

“I don’t use any weights over five pounds. I don’t use kettle bells. I don’t use any crazy leg weights. I don’t do jumps or have them run up and down stairs.”

Of course not. You don’t mess with success.

Kate Upton has done more covers this year than you’d hear at a White Ford Bronco show. Here she is blessing the September issue of Elle.

Elle Instagram

The magazine’s interview uncovers some juicy nuggets of Up-tology. We learn what lies at the base of Kate’s foundation:

“I was at a photo shoot and I was wearing a cross necklace that my mom bought me, and somebody made a joke like, ‘Why are you wearing a cross? Like you would be religious.’ And then they took [my necklace] away. I was really affected by that. The whole thing made me realize that I do want [a cross] with me, at all times.”

Even in the cruel face of secularism, Kate remains resolute.

On lighter notes:

Her favorite parts of her body are her eyes.

Her favorite thing about working out is when she’s done working out.

She says she has “baby hands.”

She loves her body because, coming from Florida, it’s essential to be able to fill out a bikini.

Game recognize game.

@_KatherineWebb @ELLEmagazine thank you!! Hope to see you soon xo

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) August 8, 2013

New Hampshire may not know who Kate Upton is, but Florida is well-versed in their rock star model daughter. A local Habitat of Humanity chapter has appealed to Kate’s Sunshine State citizenship in hopes that she’ll attend their fundraiser.

The Habitat of Humanity chapter kicked off a video contest to determine who could produce the best invite for Kate.

Our resident Truth Monkey has already urged Kate to attend the State of the Union. He now hopes Kate will make some time to attend an event for a good cause.

How could he could miss an opportunity to meet Kate?

WFB

In the most foregone of all conclusions, Kate Upton has won the 2013 Model of the Year award.

Kate has run roughshod on all comers, rendering all competition obsolete. She’s appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair for its centennial.

Introducing Vanity Fair’s 100th Anniversary Issue, featuring cover model @KateUpton ! http://t.co/SvWUkv7RqI #VF100 pic.twitter.com/CwKkMaOLuy

— VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) September 3, 2013

Vanity Fair is yet another addition to her trophy case.

She’s appeared on Vogue.

“Curves, Yes!” on Vogue Brazil.

“@BrazilModels_: @KateUpton for @VogueBRoficial July 2013 http://t.co/EUbkvTBf7D http://t.co/KgP8OAc6Pd” @lisamariebenson favorite job

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) June 26, 2013

Kate shared her faith with Elle.

It’s as if @KateUpton walked off the set of our campaign shoot & onto the cover of Elle. http://t.co/PYwDPuu2PE pic.twitter.com/3i6mxLDFoS — David Yurman (@DavidYurman) August 8, 2013

We can’t forget her consecutive appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue that catapulted her from a 19-year-old equestrian-bikini model into the undistributed fashionista damo.

POLAR BARE: @KateUpton in Antarctica is your 2013 SI Swimsuit Cover Model! http://t.co/9oL807EI #WhereISwim pic.twitter.com/kK1b1QB3 — SI Swimsuit (@SI_Swimsuit) February 9, 2013

Of course the modeling industry considered the opinion of Arnold Palmer.

Had an amazing golf lesson today #arnoldpalmer @golfdigestmag pic.twitter.com/TCR66A601L

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) August 27, 2013

Now, will New Hampshire finally reconsider spending an evening with the best model on Earth?

Forgotten in Kate Upton’s ascendance as the darling of the free world is that she was a world class equestrian. She indulged into her first love this past weekend in Australia at the 2013 Melbourne Cup.

@FCidago Twitter

She went stag without boyfriend Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

ivanmbart Instagram

She instead hung out with her gals. All three of them.

@KateUpton Twitter

Her skills as a horse whisperer rival only her skills as a jockey whisperer.

ivanmbart Instagram

Thanks to this trip, Australians likely appreciate Kate more than people in New Hampshire.

ivanmbart Instagram

Every guy in a relationship can empathize with Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander after what he went through last Friday night. If a guy can’t hit the head for two minutes without having some yahoo sweep in and try to steal his date, what’s the world coming to?

A tip of the hat to the Orlando Magic’s Stuff the Magic Mascot for having the stones to try to steal home on Verlander and best the Cy Young winner by proposing to the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth.

Shocking! Even the guy behind her cant believe it! @KateUpton @JustinVerlander pic.twitter.com/o1AV895YQM

— STUFF, Magic Mascot (@STUFF_Mascot) February 10, 2014

Kate’s a great sport, as this here Blog has documented endlessly, but Verlander? Dude pushed a bit too far this time.

“@KateUpton: Thanks @STUFF_mascot for the proposal tonight! Great game!” I was gone for 5 seconds!! pic.twitter.com/Xk6Z4Etn7b — Justin Verlander (@JustinVerlander) February 8, 2014

I have some advice for Stuff. You can’t come off like a stalker and guerrilla-propose. Kate Upton has millions of admirers/creepers who do that using social media daily already.

And while we’re at it, c’mon Stuff, you propose at a Magic game? At least jump out at a Miami Heat game where the team isn’t a bottom feeder. You don’t want that loser stink on your relationship.

Good thing Orlando doesn’t have a baseball team. I can see Verlander throwing high and way too tight to knock the stuffing out of Stuff the next time he’s in town.

I tried to make amends with @JustinVerlander tonight…. no dice! pic.twitter.com/TqzC65nwjI

— STUFF, Magic Mascot (@STUFF_Mascot) February 10, 2014

Then again, the Tigers have won as many championships as the Magic have in the last 25 years, so maybe Kate’s into that sort of thing.

AP

Jimmy Kimmel has come a long way from giving away Ben Stein’s money and having girls jump on trampolines. He’s transitioned from overweight basic cable shock jock to the best late night host working today. Dating Sarah Silverman will do that to a fella.

And Kimmel has upgraded again. This time, he gets to enjoy the company of a bevy of swimsuit models as they reveal the cover for this year’s Sports Illustrared Swimsuit Issue, an honor that has been humbly bestowed upon David Letterman for the previous six issues.

Fortunately for Kimmel, his hours haven’t been cut due to Obamacare. This week he’s the only show in town.

And after last year’s Late Show ”Top Ten,” I think we can all say that it’s for the best Kimmel has first crack at a pride of swim smokes.

In his 2009 interview of cover model Bar Refaeli, Letterman came off more like an inquisitive father than witty late night host, asking more questions about her relationship with then-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio than how she prepared for the grueling days enduring 75 degree temperatures in San Pedro.

Kimmel would have produced a viral video to help find Bar a husband.

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In 2011, Irina Shayk came off more as a Bond femme fatale than an inspiring success story of the United States immigration system.

Kimmel was pretty harsh on the amenities of Sochi at the Olympics. For Irina, though, Sochi ain’t so bad.

Irina Shayk Instagram

Letterman gave Kate a hard time about how, even though she posed in a swimsuit issue, she didn’t actually wear a swimsuit. Petty details, Dave, petty details!

I got your back, Kate.

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We could perhaps witness an unprecedented three-peat if Kate Upton wrangles a third-straight SI cover, which needless to say would be delightful.

But if SI wanted make 7 percent of its annual revenue on a single issue this year by using a fresh face, my pick is Hannah Davis.

Hannah Davis Instagram

If New Jersey and Chris Christie can make a 2014 comeback, Hannah Davis can too.

Last night’s reveal of the cover of the 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue only made clear the obvious: It takes not one, not two, but three swim-smokes to topple Kate Upton from her throne of delights.

Still, despite my complete and utter fidelity to Kate Upton and all that she stands for, let me applaud SI’s choice. The swim mag pulled out all of the stops for its 50th anniversary. It assembled former Rookie of the Years Nina Agdal and Chrissy Teigen, teaming them up with newcomer Lily Aldridge. Together, these laides raise the magazine to brave new heights.

When the models found out they would be on the cover, Chrissy had the most delightful reaction.

But really, why overanalyze. Chrissy should have seen this coming. What the world wants is more Teigen.

She’s come a long way since her days slumming it for Ed Hardy.

Chrissy Teigen Instagram

Fellow former SI Rookie of the Year Nina Agdal is Danish, and like countless immigrants to this great land, caught her big break in the U.S. of A.

Nina Agdal Instagram

This whole modeling-sans-trousers is old hat for Nina.

Nina Agdal Instagram

The new gal on the block is Lily Aldridge. But I think Lily can handle her own.

Lily Aldridge Instagram

She’s the face of Victoria’s Secrets Angels.

Lily Aldridge Instagram

But you can’t deny real talent. Mark my words: The 2013 cover won’t be the last one with a photo of Kate Upton.

I respect Sports Illustrated‘s reasonable business decision to slap a troika of swimsmokes on its cover to triple the promotion potential of its 50th Swimsuit Issue. Three is better than one and six is better than two. But it was to my dismay (and to my boss’s) that the mag appeared to be operating under the assumption that Kate Upton is yesterday’s news.

Fortunately, today’s Swimsuit magazine shows this is not the case. SI gives the people what they want, and has granted Kate the first ever back cover to its flagship franchise and the only reason readers put up with Peter King.

In fact, the 2014 issue’s back cover was the first of two barriers Kate broke for the magazine this year. She follows up her performance last year as the first swimsmoke Caroline Mikkelsen by becoming the first swimsmoke Sally Ride.

Kate’s getting nicked and cut more than HRC ever has. She’s busted through numerous glass ceilings and there’s nary a scratch on her.

Obama may have ended the space shuttle program, but thankfully we have private enterprises like SI to carry on the tradition of American ingenuity and buck-nekkid women sent into space for the good of science.

For the good of humanity.

Sports Illustrated

“There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier.”

Sports Illustrated

And like Chuck Yeager before her, Kate Upton has The Right Stuff.

Kate Upton: Galactic Empress.

When this here Blog is not deciphering the latest smoke signals from this site’s ombudsman, or waging a one-man war against bicyclists, we like to play tight end on “Team Kate.” That’s the term coined by Charlie Rose yesterday when Sports Illustrated left the beach volleyball courts and rolled out its editorial team for a retrospective on the swimsmoke magazine’s fiftieth anniversary.

Fast forward to minute 11 to get to the good stuff. Namely: What makes Kate Upton different?

Lemme help you out there, Charlie.

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SI Swimsuit editor MJ Day is a little more eloquent:

She’s different because she is a woman with curves. And we haven’t seen curves like that since the 1990′s. I mean the industry didn’t really support that body type. Every year I would call the agents up and say send me a girl with body, and I would get like five. It’s like the most frustrating thing in the world, to Jule’s point, you want a girl that can fill out a bathing suit. It’s like searching a needle in the haystack.

Need evidence of Kate making the transition from swimsmoke to legitimate fashion icon? See below.

crfashionbook Instagram

The editors’ interview is fascinating is that even they appear exasperated by the ultra-thin standard in modeling today. More success is good for Kate. And what is good for Kate is good for America.

Former SI model Carol Alt is a vociferous defender of Kate.

CHARLIE ROSE: What’s the state of the modeling industry today?

CAROL ALT: I think you’ve heard some complaints. I think the girls are really, really, really, super super thin. I do a health show, so of course I want girls who are healthy inside and out. I think it’s just way too thin and it’s the wrong image to be showing these young girls. So for me, it’s tough to watch it. And i’ve defended Kate on more shows than not. Is she fat? Thats what girls should look like. That’s normal.

We’re with the King. Team Kate forever.