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St. Paddy’s Day Was Special This Year Thanks to Topless Kate Upton
Every few years we get blessed and St. Patrick's Day coincides with the first day of March Madness, giving booze-loving Americans even more reason to drink all day. Yesterday was one of those days and...
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Kate Upton Loves Puppies
Kate Upton solidified her status as America's greatest woman this weekend. She hosted an event to help find housing for homeless puppies by matching them with military veterans suffering from PTSD....
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AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY: KATE UPTON ENGAGED
It is with great regret that I must report that Kate Upton, our finest existing representation of American greatness and muse of the Washington Free Beacon, is off the market and has been for weeks....
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Second Look at Kate Upton for President?
One thing you want in a president is someone who loves the Constitution—and who has a hale and hearty constitution. Our president has to travel the world on behalf of the United States, going from the...
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NFL Week 2 Picks, With Kate Upton
The past four months have been tough. In early May, the Washington Free Beacon learned that Kate Upton was engaged to Justin Verlander. We declared it an American tragedy, and tried to move on. "If you...
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Kate Upton’s Uncle To Retire From Congress
The uncle of America's sweetheart Kate Upton announced on Tuesday morning that he is retiring from Congress after more than three decades as a lawmaker. Fred Upton (R.), the brother of the supermodel's...
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Tits and Class: A Message to Our Readers
Dear Readers, My mail sack is overflowing with your complaints. A great many of you claim to have been offended by the manner in which the Washington Free Beacon chose to wish you a Happy Independence...
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Libs Are Furious Hot Girl Likes Republicans
Liberals lost their collective mind this weekend after discovering Hollywood starlet Sydney Sweeney enjoys spending time with Republicans. The outrage came after Sweeney and her brother Trent shared...
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Verlander Pitches a Strike to Kate Upton
Justin Verlander may be having his worst season since 2008, but he’s posting the best off-field performance of his career. His masterful performance pitching at Kate Upton this summer should be...
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10 Things You Should Know While Waiting for Election Results
Election Day is finally here, but it's probably going to be a while before we know who won. In the meantime, here are 10 things you might as well read about while you're waiting for the results. 1) The...
View ArticleKate Upton Bounced from Pier
Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton’s day on the Santa Monica Pier was cut short by a wardrobe malfunction. Model Kate Upton reportedly got booted from the famous Santa Monica Pier for flashing...
View ArticleSI Cover Girl Kate Upton Discusses Antarctica Shoot
Kate Upon, the first model since Tyra Banks in 1996 and 1997 to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for consecutive years, discussed her shoot in Antarctica and whether she has any...
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Kate Upton Ice Bucket Challenge Is Everything You Imagine
It reaffirms your faith in humanity that people are investing their money in the ALS Association rather than the box office or iTunes. Or maybe people are just hot and want to cool down. Among the...
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Kate Upton Wanted Epic 'Cat Daddy' Video Kept Private, Now 'Obviously Fine'...
The Kate Upton "Cat Daddy" video that fundamentally transformed America for the better was made without Upton's permission and she was mad that it was released, the Washington Free Beacon has learned....
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Kate Upton Goes to Pittsburgh Market
Kate Upton could be taking her talents to a baseball town near you. The beginning of the baseball season is a time for Kate Upton to go on a tour of America's cities, according to a photo taken by a...
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America's Sweetheart Endorses America's Cab Company
Supermodel Kate Upton came out swinging against New York City mayor Bill de Blasio on Wednesday, criticizing the Sandinista sympathizer for cracking down on popular ridesharing service Uber in the...
View ArticleAmerican Hero Kate Upton Flies in WWII P-51 Mustang Aircraft
Supermodel and American hero Kate Upton proved again that she is America’s sweetheart as she took the sky in a World War II P-51 Mustang aircraft for a flyover at Wrigley Field. On Wednesday night,...
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